toxicdonuts

hazardous materials


I need something real in my life right now.
Not the Marilyn Manson kind of real. The onstage madness. All that slashing and biting and burning and all that stuff is way too real for me.
Not the Before Sunrise kind of real either. That's surreal.
Definitely not the Survivor, Amazing Race flavoured real. Real isn't supposed to be entertaining.
How about the Mandy Moore 'so real' kind of real? Too far away for me to see it.
California and the Pacific Ocean? Nowhere near. That's 1 year and 6 months away from real.
Alright, co-operate with me now. And tell me your results. Think of a time in your life. Say the end of year 2003. What were the things that felt real to you? Aren't those things nothing but a heap of sham poo right now?
I'm seriously questioning the whole concept of realism right now. Not exactly in tune with Morpheus' (the hubba hubba big black badass, not the pale skinny dude) yak. Real-ising what is real is the one significant step to determine the rules that you'll abide to in this world. For example, for one, if you realised that you were not of natural birth by your parents, that you were picked up in ferris-wheel carriage by a couple while they were on holiday in Australia. Would you still hold on to the values that held true for you, about national education and national service? But what if the truth is that you were born of another Singaporean couple who kind of left you on that carriage because they were in a rush to claim a free popcorn in some other corner of the fair? Would the truth even matter? No, the only thing that matters in determining how you live is what you believe. That's why the lie detector test wouldn't work for psychopaths. Coming back to that descendent example, this is what makes Superman so stupid. The water-polo guy from 202 actually makes alot of sense in that scene with the comic-book talk.
I'm flooding my stomach with strawberry yoghurt. Help. I'm nearing an OD. This feels real enough. And I just downed myself with citrus juice. Will I live till tomorrow? Stay tuned to find out.

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