well.
i feel dead. yeah felt that way for months now, close to a year perhaps. but i'm getting a grip on my thoughts now, and it is good.
how much i have changed. i've always been bothered by change, at least changes that manifest in me me myself. always thought, will i change for the better, or for the worse? perhaps thats why i've always somehow prefered to lie in the numbing comfort of the status:ko. just acquiesce with whatever that gets in the way. its easier this way, it seems. this kinda killed me for good. it seems like a huge chunky double-fudged portion of my soul just got munched away. (sidenote:vishnu always epitomised apathy you know.)
now it isn't so clear anymore. change isn't just for better or for badder. with change, you always win some and lose some. it's true, it's true. you may not end up better or worse, and you don't arrive back at one either. you go through fire and set your feet upon a land that transcends everything you've known. and guess what? it's growing on me. and i'm addicted.
why don't we argue? theses and anitheses. that brings about synthesis. oh well. perhaps i've been holding back too much, perhaps i've been trying too hard to make it work. i want another shot at it. but i don't know if i should trust myself now.
bon jovi makes the worst shit look good. how old are they now? they're probably the only rock band to have taken more botox than dope. but they're still the best shit out there. always wondered why richie's always been dissed off. sure, he ain't the most radical, but he's good at what he does. and the solos always sing the same song as jon's vox.
it hurts, and it just keeps getting harder. and it doesn't help when i keep doubting our decision.
why don't i just drown in purple?
i feel dead. yeah felt that way for months now, close to a year perhaps. but i'm getting a grip on my thoughts now, and it is good.
how much i have changed. i've always been bothered by change, at least changes that manifest in me me myself. always thought, will i change for the better, or for the worse? perhaps thats why i've always somehow prefered to lie in the numbing comfort of the status:ko. just acquiesce with whatever that gets in the way. its easier this way, it seems. this kinda killed me for good. it seems like a huge chunky double-fudged portion of my soul just got munched away. (sidenote:vishnu always epitomised apathy you know.)
now it isn't so clear anymore. change isn't just for better or for badder. with change, you always win some and lose some. it's true, it's true. you may not end up better or worse, and you don't arrive back at one either. you go through fire and set your feet upon a land that transcends everything you've known. and guess what? it's growing on me. and i'm addicted.
why don't we argue? theses and anitheses. that brings about synthesis. oh well. perhaps i've been holding back too much, perhaps i've been trying too hard to make it work. i want another shot at it. but i don't know if i should trust myself now.
bon jovi makes the worst shit look good. how old are they now? they're probably the only rock band to have taken more botox than dope. but they're still the best shit out there. always wondered why richie's always been dissed off. sure, he ain't the most radical, but he's good at what he does. and the solos always sing the same song as jon's vox.
it hurts, and it just keeps getting harder. and it doesn't help when i keep doubting our decision.
why don't i just drown in purple?
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